Why I am no feminist!

5 min Read

Viola Kusasira, Journalist.

I hear every so often, women being likened to supernatural beings, who can create, transform, emulate, nurture and do all sorts of things. To me, this sounds a lot like men have nothing on us afterall. Do they?

Why the constant fight then? Why do we need advocacy? Feminism and the like?

Well, from my intent years of studying the patterns of male-female, male-male and female-female relationships, collaborations, encounters and even friendships, i have come to a conclusion of what the challenge is, but which we as women rarely see, but are quick to rush for the scapegoat- MEN. 

We have got all the resources we need within us but there are TWO major things that hold us back from excellence, realising which, we might realise our female dream(s) of being heard, ruling the world, taking over human kind, name it. 

First; correct me if i am wrong, but, there is something about women. We can have everything ... wealth, power, beauty, diamonds and still yell for attention from men, deprived of which, we will then begin to accuse men of neglect, torture and the like. I don't think it's bad to want attention which in this case is mostly compliments, but when used to blackmail, guilt, torture and indebt men, it is doing more harm than good for both parties. 

Certain, if not all women, will go very long miles, to win battles they've created, after which win, they will feel empty, lost and meaningless, yet they do it over and over because of the constant yearning, longing to belong, yet they already do, but have too little belief to realise. Who said you have to belong anyway? But also, belong to what exactly, when we still yearn to stand apart and be celebrated trend setters?

So, what is it that women want? What is it we are doing wrong and can only be cured of our defencelessness if we correct? 

This brings me to the second thing, which is the ultimate i blame all female struggles on. 

This is insecurity!

There's a myriad of accomplishments women dream of from time to time, but never get to realise, because unfortunately, we have failed to understand that like they say; "Two heads are better than one." It's not uncommon sight for women rising up the ladder, to pull, kick and push those equally trying to do the same instead of utilizing their unique contribution to aid eachother's dreams. This habit arising from insecurity and fear for competition, is the cancer eating up women's ability for success and it hurts even more that we don't realise and keep blaming men and struggling to be feminists rather than address the issue at hand. In fact, it's always very easy for men to hurt women using fellow women because they already know our insecurities. The earlier we start on the medication rather than the easy target(men) for a distraction, the better. All this feminism talk should stop, if we aren't gonna practice what we preach. 

Women, stop fighting! There's enough for all of us and always remember we never lose an ounce of knowledge through sharing it. 

See you when we are better.

Read; The Secret - Rhoda Byrne.